Man I am gassy tonight

Okay so the title has nothing to do with this post, but speaks the truth. It is kind of a problem being as how thin the walls are here, but if I have to fart I have to fart.

The real subject of this post is about French movies. Now France has a long history of films beginning with Les freres Lumieres. (Side note: why is it that every French invention is done by a pair ex: Lumieres (film industry), Curies (Medecine), and my favorite Montgolifieres (invented the hot air balloon, and the first object to carry man in the air.) Anyways, throughout time France has done some pretty great films Jeanne d'arc (circa 1898), Les Enfants du Paradis (1945), Mon Oncle (1958), and my favorite movie of all time Les Diaboliques (1955). (All dates are courtesy of IMDB where you can read about these movies as well.) In fact French cinema has helped create the film industry, revolutionizing it in certain eras and by recognizing certain films at the most celebrated film fesitval in the world at Cannes with the Palm d'Or.

Then there is the side that no one likes to talk about. The same French cinema has created such great classics has also created Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (1964); a film which I cannot say enough bad things about but think of West Side Story meets any Julia Roberts film. It is a musical that is so hard to sit through at the end you are either so zoned out you stay watching the TV for another 40 minutes before you realize you are watching nothing, or you have blood running from your ears. Then there are the genre like Le Pacte de Loupe (2001 Brotherhood of the Wolf) and Blanche (2002). Since some of you might have seen Brotherhood of the Wolf, I will start there. It is a typical French film in present day that has a decent story line with the absolute absurd in it. I mean really an Indian (American not subcontinet, check with the Bureau of Indian Affairs this is the name they prefer) that is some kind of ninja/karate wizard? How much crazier does it need to get.

Then there is Blanche. Blanche once again has a decent story line, but with absurd characters. First they bring in every literary character you can think of that was existent in 17th to 18th century and then just go crazy. There is literally one scene where Cardinal Richelieu, Louis XIV, and Louis XIV's mom are snorting coke and running around a room chasing after a guy to kill him. What is even more crazy is the coke they snor is red and they just magically appear sometimes in front of the guy they are chasing like in that UPS commercial where the lady holds the door open for the business guy, who then goes to elevator and that same UPS lady is then exiting the elevator. Yeah. And of course like every French film there is a Gerarad Depardieu cameo. I kind of like the movie in a perverse way basically to laugh at it. I also own it to have on hand if I ever get high, I actually never ever plan on getting high, but this is the movie I want to watch if I do. I think it will actually make sense then.

Well I know the American film industry has plenty of horrible horrible movies: Gigli (2003), Battlefield Earth (2000) and Titanic (1997, Yes I said Titanic), but what really seperates the American film industry with the French film industry is WWII movies. I mean really any WWII movie in America is a cash cow, especially if it takes place in Europe. I cannot think of any bad American WWII movies that take place in Europe. Plenty of them that take place in the Pacific i.e. Pearl Harbor (2001). But here in France I have now gone to three really bad movies about WWII. I mean really bad.

The most recent one I went was tonight: Les indegens (2006). This is the best way to describe it: storyline of Glory (1989) but for Arabs, set in WWII, with an ending identical to Saving Private Ryan's beginning (1989). The movie is about the suffering of Algerians and others whow fought for France in WWII to help free France from the Nazis, but who were still treated like slaves almost. The ending does a flashforward of "60 years later" and shows the main character at the last battle scene they showed, where there is now a military cemetary and he finds the men that died in that fight. Wow doesn't that sound familiar. And then to really put closure to it they show him take a bus to his apartment (some city in France), take his shoes off, and sit on his bed. Yep that is the exact ending. I just wonder how can you go so wrong with a WWII movie where you kill Nazis? Everyone loves to see that, but somehow the French manage to do it.

And yes, while I wrote this I was still gassy and have been continually farting.