HATE: Wildcard.....Musicals

I cannot stand musicals, you name it, I hate it. Cats: hate, Rent: hate, West Side Story: hate, South Pacific: hate, Grease: hate, Guys and Dolls: hate, Les Mis: hate, [Insert any other musical title]: hate.

In fact there are maybe two I don't hate, but I cannot say with certainty because I have not seem them: Monty Python's Holy Grail and Mel Brooks' The Producers. Mainly because they are so funny and were originally movies it would take an idiot to wreck them. But believe Broadway could find a away and easily.

See my irrational hatred for musicals stems from my minute ability to act. In high school I was in several plays (lead roles), voted best actor out of 2,000 people, and even received a $15,000 scholarship to act at the college I first attended. So sure I wasn't much of an actor but kind of knew what was going on. That coupled with my love for the movies allows me to think (even if it isn't true) that I can tell what is good acting (Gwyneth Paltrow) and what is bad acting (Ben Affleck).

So this brings me back to musicals--THEY ARE FILLED WITH BAD ACTORS. Usually what happens is the singing voice is picked over their ability to act. Thus causing the musical to be complete crap because now you have singers trying to act. This upsets beyond nothing else. How can you have something on stage where there is a story being told, and have no actors on that stage? It is ridiculous. I singled out The Producers and Monty Python because in their original casting they actually had actors rather than singers playing the parts. Sure the singing may not be the greatest but what detracts more from the story a person who you can't follow or believe because their acting is so bad, or someone who might be off pitch or key occasionally? I thought so.

I think there should be a boycott on any musical or play putting singing voice above acting ability when casting. That being said in one of my insomnia filled nights I looked up an old classmate from high school who I haven't heard from ever. He is apparently pretty big in the Dallas musical/opera scene. I would go to his musical, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't HATE it.

What are the Twin Cities coming to?

So the other day I was driving to get some lunch during break from class. I noticed something smoldering in the road. I just assumed it was a cigarette someone had thrown out (which I hate when people do that, but I digress.) As I drove through it, I realized it was not a cigarette. I turned to B sitting next to me in the car and said, "That wasn't a cigarette was it?" He responded with, "Definitely wasn't." Instead it was as Gregory Hines called it Roman Red, Wacky Weed, or Mighty Joint.

So, so what there was a joint in the middle of an extremely busy road, across from a police station, wafting it's fumes to nearby passers. The best of the weekend was Sunday at McDonalds in a suburb just north of St. Paul. Again during lunch break of classes another friend and I went to a nearby McDos. While eating away my friend pointed out one of the greatest things I have ever seen at a McDos. A man pulled up in a very large probably late 80s Lincoln. He stepped out with a large leather coat the length of a trench coat, boots, and sunglasses. But what really topped off Smokey's outfit (that is what the employees at McDos knew him as, yes they knew him) was the large brown fedora with a feather sticking out of it and the accompanying cane with his outfit. Yes, I think we can all clearly say Smokey was a pimp. And he was looking pimpalicious.

Sadly I could not find any photos of a pimp on google that would do this guy justice.

HATE: NCAA March Madness Nicknames

Everyone loves March Madness, a bunch of kids playing basketball for free while millions of people spend millions of dollars betting on who screws up the least. Along with March Madness come the crazy announcers shouting god knows what as the seconds tick away and Lebron Jordan shoots a buzzer beater that clangs out of the rim and they lose.

So what can be better than that?

How about the 64 teams nicknames. This year the field has such classics as Long Beach State "Beaches", Southern Illinois "Salukies" (I actually like the sound of that), Oregon "Ducks", Texas A&M CC "Islanders", Tennessee "Volunteers", and the list goes on. Be careful not to upset the Ducks on the Beach of the Islanders as the Salukie chases those damn Volunteers. That just scares the bejesus out of me.

But all of these pail in comparison to the very nickname synonymous with horror, one that strikes fear into any man or woman who even mumbles the name, one whose name causes your ears to bleed if the very name is even mentioned.....

The Penn "Quakers" Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Okay first off we are talking about an Ivy League school. Can they not think of anything better than Quakers? Are they not smarter than that? Or is it because it deals with sports they automatically suck at it? I mean this is the alma mater of Warren Buffet and Donald Trump. Yes I will say it, whoever came up with the "Quaker" nickname, "You're fired!"

So I know all nicknames are not threatening but unless a school called themselves the Mother Theresas, the Ghandis, or the jumping jesuses (how do you make Jesus plural) you could not have picked more pacifying name. Everyone knows Quakers "turn the other cheek". I hope to God that Penn does not have a hockey team. That would just be devastating.

Now I can make fun of them because growing up I went to "meetings". Yes that is Quaker service or in today's terms Society of Friends (apparently Quaker is too old fashion). My Dad is a Quaker. My mom ELCA Lutheran. That meant I spent one week at boring old Lutheran service as my Grandma and I pointed and laughed at people who danced to the music or clapped their hands as the "spirit swayed them", and the next week at meeting.

I was young when going to meetings so let me tell you what I remember about them. We would go to a normal looking house type building with about 20 people there. I would grab a magazine, usually a Zoobook (I loved those) and everyone would sit in a circle. Everyone but me, who was intently reading how fast a Cheetah can run, would be silent and staring at nothing for about 20 minutes. Then out of the blue someone would stand up and say something that either concerned them or that they read in the news. At this point I had moved on to how bats can "see" in pitch black caves. Then after another 10 minutes or so of more silence or someone occasionally saying that they were saddened by the plight of the migrant farmers in Pushatanwali, we would break for cookies, cheese, crackers, and coffee. I would go to some lame Sunday School where we learned how the Quakers were persecuted by the English so they came to the US. Then on the way home we would listen to Casey Kasem's top 40. All in all Quaker service completely ruled Lutheran service. I have never learned so much about animals as I did in meeting. As it turns out I know understand why they were silent, they were meditating, hopefully my page turning didn't upset them.

So remember the Quakers didn't lose to the Aggies (the real Texas A&M in the tournament), they turned the other cheek.

And I know I still have night terrors of hearing Jim Nantz yell, "Here come the Quakers running down the court!"

HATE: Source of Electricity- Wind

I hate wind energy. It is horrible to think we can use it energize our nation or world. I think the only way to go is the route North Korea and Iran are trying.

This is why I hate wind:

1. I hate when they say we can "harvest wind". Do we have large combines going through the sky to shuck the clouds of wind? NO. Who says the wind is ours anyways? I think the Indians would be pretty pissed if they knew we were stealing the wind. It isn't their wind, it isn't our wind, and it isn't Al Gore's wind. What would happen if I went to a corn field in Iowa and started harvesting corn that wasn't mine? Exactly.

2. In order to create wind energy they put up massive blades of death in random places and fields. If I was50 feet tall I could easily be decapitated. There are no warning signs for this, I think this is a secret plot by all the Davids of the world to kill off the remaining Goliaths. I mean how would you feel if you read in the paper Andre the Giant was killed by a wind turbine chopping off his head?

3. What is going to happen without the wind? Will weather change? Will I be able to fly my kite anymore? I mean seriously without wind how will I cool myself off, perspiration needs a little breeze to work. There won't be any really cold days either because there will be no wind. More importantly how will I be able to hot air balloon. I will get up and won't go anywhere. I think hot air balloonists around the world need to lobby against wind turbines. For that matter glider pilots can join in too.

4. God, Old Man Winter, Mother Nature, Poseiden, Thor, whoever the hell creates the wind will soon be out of breath if we keep stealing it from him/her. I don't think any of those gods or demi-gods would take too kind to that. Thus harvesting wind energy will lead to the wrath of God on us.

As you all see wind energy is a serious problem and that is why this nation needs to use more oil rather than depend on wind. I think more global wars in order to gain more oil are needed.

Yes I am George Costanza

So this story may be a little...disturbing to some, funny to others, but mostly gross.

The other day I was over at a friend's apartment (don't worry Arbusto, not yours or anyone you know). We were just hanging out, it was him, his girlfriend, and me. I had been over there awhile playing some Madden '07 when I had a sudden urge to use the toilet. Nothing new for me, I have a stomach condition that causes frequent visits to the toilet. It is like my second home. (Not that it matters here but I am an international toilet expert.)

Anyways I am done with business, but I know this is going to be a messy wipe. Yes Mona the toilet paper flap was hanging down or over the top.) So this is where my Georgeness comes through. Sometimes, as gross or environmental as it may be, if I grab too much toilet paper, I will wipe, fold, and wipe again. I don't want to clog the toilet or use tons of paper. Well this time I brought it up just enough to fold, yes I am weird I know this, anyways as I brought it up I apparently had a lot on that piece of toilet paper. Why do I know this? Because as I brought it up a piece of poo....yes poo flew four feet and landed on their bathroom floor.

Now I have a 2 inch piece of poo laying on my friend's bathroom floor. Thank God it was a vinyl floor that I could easily wipe up, make sure it was clean, and walk out like nothing happened.

I guess we are more closely related to chimps than I thought, why else would I be flinging poo.

HATE: City Transportation

I live in St. Paul a town of roughly 300,000 but with Minneapolis and the surrounding communities you get up over a million. And the public transportation sucks. I live somewhere between 7-12 miles from school. Yet there is no way for me to get to school unless I drive. It is pathetic. Seriously I have two buses that are right near where I live, but the lines go nowhere. I would have to make 3 changes just to get to school. Hell I can't even walk anywhere really because there is a massive hill that I live on, now I am lazy but I wouldn't mind walking up a hill....if THERE WERE FRIGGIN SIDEWALKS. Seriously how can there not be sidewalks on two fairly major roads???

So everyone is waiting for me to compare US cities to European cities, like Paris. Well I won't. Europe is different the cities are closer, more compact. It is easier to have subways, trams, and the such to get around. Hell I can walk 6 miles in Paris and go from Montparnasse in the South to la Grande Arche in the Northeast and feel like nothing. Here I walk 6 miles and I feel like I get nowhere.

Now St. Paul does have a "light rail" basically a subway just above ground. It is great for me, I have to drive to it, but it take me into Minneapolis (I hate driving in Minneapolis). Other than that though, the light rail goes nowhere. It is worthless for most. I love that once the decide to put in public transportation like the light rail, it goes nowhere much like the buses near me.

I hate driving 8 miles or whatever to get to school for no real reason, why the hell can't we have public transportation? I HATE US public transportation. I am surprised I don't have to fly just to get to school.

Thank you Arbusto

Yes I am thanking Arbusto as much as it pains me. Twice even. One is a real genuine thank you, and the other is a sarcastic son of a bitch thank you.

Genuine: As Arbusto so aptly pointed out....I forgot my wallet. Normally not a horrible thing, just a pain in the ass. Well this day I was in court suing American Airlines, which I won because the cowards did not show, and I had to park in a parking ramp in downtown St. Paul. Not having money, atm, or credit card and parking in a ramp is not a good combination. Thankfully Arbusto was kind enough to stop chaffing his palm, put on clothes, and drive down to St. Paul. Not only that he loaned me money. Yay Arbusto, but I still like Leela better. The exchange was funny because we were right across from the courthouse where there are a ton of police and Arbusto pulls up in the little drop-off area by the hotel where I was parked. He rolled down his window, I leaned in, he handed me money, and then he drove off. Yes it was exactly like a drug deal went down.

Sarcastic: Thank you Arbusto for the other day in class. We were in our acting for lawyers class (the fancy name is forensic oratory, learning how to speak, but basically it is acting for lawyers), and we were playing an improv game, think Whose Line Is It Anyways.

A: (Approaches B with imaginary box/present)
B: Thank you very much A for this present, what is it?
A: It is a _________
B: Thank you A for this _______. It is the best ______ I have ever had because __________.

So we were supposed to choose our present based off of what the person ahead of us had chosen. First I will do the group before Arbusto's group then his group.

B: Thank you very much A for this present, what is it?
A: It is a Kiwi.
B: Thank you A for this Kiwi. It is the best Kiwi I have ever had because it is so furry.

New B: Thank you very much Arbusto for this present, what is it?
Arbusto: It is.....(yes he put my name here, no no one in class knew my nickname was "Furry", although it was a little embarassing, didn't crack the top ten most embarassing moments in Furry history).

So thank you Arbusto for using my nickname in class when no one knows why you call me Furry. I hate you.

Photo Time: Blizzards and French Family

So I became a little less lazy being snowed in and decided to post some pics I finally downloaded to my computer so here you go...

This is what nearly 2 feet of snow (in less than a week) looks like from outside my patio door:


And this is the French host family I stayed with. Sorry they all kind of look creepy in the photos but they were taken at 3AM on Christmas eve after a party where we all drank and ate too much. From left to right: Brother of the host that I didn't meet till that day but who insisted on being in the photos; the host who teaches 17th century French lit at the Harvard of France; the middle daughter who is dating a French Polynesian prince; oldest daughter who became really bitchy the last few weeks because she was trying to stop smoking; and finally the youngest daughter who was extremely hot and would unknowingly flaunt it by wearing small night gowns around the house and talk to me. No she wasn't flirting she was really just that naive. She also puked 15 minutes after the photo because she ate too much at the party, she was at it for quite awhile too. I knew because my room was adjacent to the bathroom, and it wasn't a silent hurl.

LATE HATE

Sorry this is getting up so late....I just got lazy today. This week is a WILD CARD. As the Busto explains we won't do this too much.

My HATE for this week is: Mandatory Attendance in Class

I hate attending classes because I am forced to attend them. What is the point of mandatory attendance? I look at it as a free open market that should not be altered by controlling forces such as mandatory attendance rules. Let me exlpain:

Different people feel differently about different classes and different people learn differently in different classes. There are some classes that I don't have to read for and understand most everything, and other classes I read 3 times and still have no idea what the hell is going on. This goes for attendance too.

If a person does not want to go to class he/she shouldn't have to go to class. There are always choices as to why they may not want to go, and there are consequences. For some people the consequences are not outweighed by the benefit of not attending so they don't attend, others the balance shifts the other way so they do go. But this is my point, let the people decide.

If someone does not go to class they are not going to hear the class lecture, discussion, and questions that my be brought up. That is their loss and they know this ahead of time. Sometimes though the material is so redundant, boring, or non-informative that these people not attending will not miss anything. IT IS THEIR CHOICE....LET THEM MAKE IT.

Some might argue that mandatory attendance is to make sure everyone has a decent shot of passing. WHO CARES!!! If they don't ever go to class, don't know the material, don't know what the prof wants, and then proceeds to fail, it is the choice they made. They knew that going into the test.

On the other hand there are people like my best friend back home that is so smart that he didn't attend any classes in his advanced math class (he was a math major) and aced the test; in addition, he had made a deal with the prof (since he hadn't done any of the homework) that if he aced it he would pass the class, if not he would fail. Voila, as I already said he aced it so he passed.

There are some classes that people will sleep through (I do this, although less and less this year). How is mandatory attendance helping here? Now you just have a body in the class that might occasionally snore, instead of an empty chair. THEY END UP BEING THE SAME THING. Furthermore, if a prof wants people attend all they have to do is MAKE THE FRIGGIN CLASS MORE INTERESTING. I don't want to have to listen to some monotone voice read back to me what is on the page of the text of the assigned reading. If I didn't read it the first time, why would I want to listen to it read back to me a second time???? (Or just listen/read it a second time for all of those overachievers that actually do the reading assignments).

It just isn't necessary for everyone to attend class. It is a Shitty rule that I HATE.

Let the people make their own decisions. If they fail they fail, if they miss out on interesting discussion they miss out, if they Ace the test write a harder test. Besides most people don't even listen anyways they are busy surfing the net or playing online poker in class anyways. Hell last year I watched part of the NCAA basketball tourney in class.

Mandatory attendance is a stupid ass rule that should be abolished, along with Arbusto, he too should be abolished.