Completely Oblivious

So I knew this post would come sooner than later but here it goes...

My family (only the men on my father's side) has a curse. No one actually ever physically put a curse on us, but I am pretty sure one of my ancestors did something that will affect all generations to come in my family. It is women.

My grandfather first got married when he was 30, he was born in the 1910s or 20s so 30 was extremely late. My father got married when he was 28. An improvement? Not quite. His first wife died shortly there after. Extremely sad but true. My brother got married at 29. Now most of you at this time might be saying, hey that is a pretty normal age to get married at, what are you complaining about? Well they never had a girlfriend before they got married. My father had 2 dates before he got married the first time. My brother had 3.

So then there is me. I am 24. I had 2 dates in high school, both went miserably bad...one was a blind date (neither of us liked each other) and the other was a dance where we never danced together. Then came college.

One night after going to a bar a friend and I had to watch a movie for a class the next day. One of my friend's housemates decided to watch it with us, even though she did not understand French. When my friend finally left, this housemate kissed me and so on and so forth. This eventually led to an on again off again quais relationship for about 3 months. What happened after 3 months? I finally moved into my apartment and called Sophie (that name sounds good in this story). Sophie said that we should go out to lunch, but since she had no car I would have to pick her up, she lived about 40 minutes away. This was no problem. I was going to pick her up take her to my place where she was going to stay for the next couple of days. Well when I arrive at her place she is sitting on the porch. I approach and she does not say much. She then tells me I actually had you drive down here to tell you that this isn't going to work anymore.

So at this point I am completely confused. Yesterday she had told me she was looking forward to coming up and seeing my palce, etc, and now she is seperating. I of course ask why and she says you don't want to know. Well this really pisses me off, now I think not only is she breaking up with me, but I either did something completely wrong or she thinks there is something completely wrong with me and if that is the case, I really do want to know. So after much prodding she tells me she is sleeping with another guy. Now being an extremely faithful guy this hurt, but what hurt even more is the fact that she wouldn't even sleep with me. So she will sleep with a guy that she has known for a week, but not the one she was dating for 3 months.

Flash forward about a year, I am dating another girl. We had gone on two dates (wouldn't really call it dating her, but you get the point). Date 3 ends up back at my place watching Old School together. Now Old School for me is one of the funniest movies ever. Even though I had seen it numerous times I was too enthralled in the movie to realize that this girl was pratically throwing herself at me. I didn't even kiss her. Needless to say after that date she broke it off.

Two summers ago, after work a girl invites me out for drinks. Now this is really where you get to see how stupid I am when it comes to women. We go to the bar where she realizes she "accidently" left her ID back at her place, so we should go to her place to drink. It is about 12:30 at this point. We get to her place where we have a beer. She then shows me her apartment and makes it a key point to show me her bedroom. We go back to the couch and have another beer. She complains her feet hurt.

So now that you know how I am around women lets recap then have a multiple choice. Lady from work wants to have some drinks with me. "Forgets" her ID. Go to her place. Have beer. Shows me her bedroom. Complains feet hurt.
What did Furry do?
A. Did Furry move in closer and tell her he could help take the pain away.
B. Did Furry offer to massage her feet.
C. Did Furry try to get her to drink more just to make sure all inhibitions were gone.
D. Or did Furry say, "Well you said you have to get up early tomorrow, I better go so you can get some sleep."

If you did not guess D then I am guessing you have problems spelling your name correctly. That is exactly what I did. I am an idiot.

So this brings me to my new dilema....

My host here in Paris has a 19 year old daughter. She is extremely attractive but very timid. We went on a long walk for several hours and we have talked when she is around. The odd thing is though she always smiles at me and occaissionally will just stand and watch me if I am in the kitchen, not saying anything.

Now avoiding the obivous problems of dating a 19 year old Parisian and being the daughter of my host, I ask what am I to make of this? I have given descriptions of my incompentant decison making when it comes to women (and those are only the most obvious blunders believe me there are others). Is she just being extremely nice to this blundering idiot american, or is she trying to send out signals. Because if she is trying to send out signals, I really should just wear a sign saying, "Sorry reception is down inoperative and will not be working for at least 6 more years." I figure when I am 30 the curse is either lifted or I am so depressed I just marry the first thing that says yes. Notice I said thing, so if there are robotic wifes 6 years from now, I better stock up on WD 40.

And the ending that everyone loves, What Weird/Horrible/Embarassing Thing Happened to Furry today?
Well this morning I took a shower/bath, its a European thing that I hate. Anyways half way through I realize the water is not draining. Yes the bathtub is clogged. My host does not have a plunger either. Oh and she just left for Canada for 8 days. So I had to find a way to unclog the bathtub in France. After trying to put a hanger down the drain, I finally went out and after much searching found a Drain-O product that worked.

And no it was not from all of my fur.